Moved Back from Overseas to Figure This Out...

[S4tk]

Journaling. I am finding something is going right because I am able to empathize with W. I'm going through an internal process of taking inventory, and figuring out the 180s more specifically.

As I do that, I am beginning to agree with W that our marriage could be a lot better. I don't mean during the 4 months now since bomb drop (Let's face it, these four months I would rate our M as a "1" on a 0-10 scale, and the 1 is simply because she hasn't actually left yet and we seem to be co-parenting OK). But what I mean is that before BD, I probably would have said a 7 or 8, sometimes even a 9. Even the first 3 months since BD, I might have said the same. But this last month, something is changing. I am seeing that maybe my reality was not quite reality. Maybe the M was a 5 - and if I can say 5, then it gives me the ability to understand W if she felt it was 5 or even lower.

This gives me the ability to do several things easier.

1) Allows me to work on me better, and to detach.

2) Allows me to act "as if" better.

Wondering how else this helps me. I feel it's huge.