Posting it here is awesome. Let it out here. I think a week's timeout from your H is a great idea. Give yourself a chance to recharge and digest all that's happened.
In this time, you can take some action about the money/finances.
I think the letter may be something for down the road. Not yet.
The first step is to get the finances in order on your side of the street. Your H has shown clearly that he is VERY unclear. A cool head will prevail. That's on you right now.
I know the desire to put all your feelings out there. I do. It's maddening how insensitive and horrifying our spouses are right now. Sadly, he is in no position to really hear what you have to say.
Imagine him as a zombie. His brain has been eaten right now by MLC brain eaters. He is in a very distant, sad, crazy place right now. Let him be for now.
Now is the time to rise to the occasion by being braver than you ever thought possible. You are a superhero. You can do this.
Set the financial boundaries. Take a week's time. Let him know you would like a week to digest all that's happened. As much as it may kill you, you may want to give him the impression he is still on safe ground with you.
"I know you are trying to figure some things out for yourself. I need a break to digest all this information. I appreciate you understanding that I need until Saturday without seeing you. It will help to sort some things out for myself."
Something like that. Others on the thread may have different ideas. Read, post and open yourself up to the many different ways to approach your situation.
You can do it!
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
