Okay, so when the bomb is dropped, they consider themselves D. And maybe I can understand that he felt D or that the relationship was over while separated. How then does it give him a pass for everything that happened for the two years up until BD? I also give him limited leeway on the MLC insanity too. Mental as he may be and way, he was very high functioning. He has known right from wrong all along. He knows he was married. He knows what he has done was wrong because he has said and taken action that demonstrates that he knows he has done wrong. And let's not just include me in this, he was messing around with multiple women at the same time. He was not honest or faithful to anyone. He was using, lying, and betraying all parties involved. He knows that is not right, hurting multiple people. And here is the thing: MLC doesn't last forever. If it does, and he is stuck, there is no us anyway. And if he comes out, then he should be human enough to recognize that amends should be made. Do I want to be with someone who now is through the depression fog and can clearly see the damage he has done, chooses not to do anything about it, to justify it, to bury it? No, I don't think so. Sounds like a template for being hurt and disregarded the rest of my life.
Raine, what you wrote here is huge for me. I mean, when we choose to stand, aren't we behaving out of faith? We are acting on faith that the person we are standing for is still, ultimately, good but sick or making poor decisions out of pain, confusion, hurt.
So, what if that pain and hurt isn't truly a justification for this behavior.
I've been horribly, severely clinically depressed before. I didn't cheat.
Is a person who is capable of convincing himself that an affair is justified, always able to convince himself to skirt moral right and wrongs?
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
