GUILT IS IT A GOOD SIGN?

[Ambivalent]

So....what I hear from your convo...that I would be careful about....and these are things people posted to me from here....vets...Labug, MrBond, job...is don't try to be his mother. If he is going to C and you say you want him to grow...it's like you own him and are his "manager"? And he doesn't wanna be owned right now.

I NEVER EVER said this to him, they are my thoughts. He initiated the counseling, and he picked the guy and made all the appointments...yay!
I just hope he is a good one. That part is scary!

Also, I am trying NOT to be seen as a mother figure... The last thing I want to be is someone who oozes that aura! Ha! I'm working towards responsible, sexy, active partner for the next 30+ years!

I understand about the sharing about what's underneath, I shared as part of a homework assignment. For I was Low Desire. I was sharing how it made me feel to wear what I was wearing, not to turn him on.
It was more of a revelation to me, and that it was something I could take charge of . That it was my responsibility , to work on this on my own.
Also a complaint of his was who initiated. Does that help clarify?

I don't want to sound like a downer, and I think you are doing great with GAL, focusing on you and trying to keep it all together. Just suggesting a little mystery here.

Will do!

Thanks for getting back to me, it does help and I appreciate your time.

This is tough; I want to feel better and stronger. I want never to have ugliness between us. We had such a workable marriage.
We both need to share our concerns and learn how to discuss things without taking things personally.

I have to learn to step out of my comfort zone and address my needs and desires, as well as confront my fears.

I need to become an ear to his feelings and support for his fears AND fantasies. I need show acceptance rather than speak it.

Goals to work towards.

One day at a time, one moment in time.