How to convince resistant LD wife?

[Ambivalent]

Hi MG.

And in my case, even that wouldn't work.

If it's a threat, no it may not, but if you act on it , it may.

You are projecting an outcome or mind reading based on previous history. I do this too!

Anyhoo, my lack of desire stemmed from years of how I was treated. My desire came and went.
Mostly, even from prior to marriage, I was dismissed by my spouse, and my reality was that friends and family came before me.
Basketball , golf for a big part of the marriage, bowling , and poker. When I ( a woman ) doesn't feel connected, desire/libido may diminish.

Then if you add bad breath or any pressure , what may be perceived as pressure...then it is a recipe for avoidance.

Dinners, cuddling, flowers, etc. is SEEN or sniffed out by the LD partner as pressure.

I never had a c. orgasm by my H. and so I knew what was missing. I also didn't know to touch my self! I didn't even consider it. It was frustrating. I also felt inadequate, and inhibited because of the above.

Now what made me re-think this seriously?
My husband walked out the door.
I then found out how crushed he was about the lack of intimacy, the lack of the NEEDING to be desired, NEEDING to be emotionally connected. What sex represented to him.

You see I didn't know. He never shared this with me. I should have been sat down in a restaurant and quietly privately told about how it was affecting him emotionally, martially, and how it devastated him.

To this day I carry a great deal of guilt and remorse. I also didn't know how to make myself have a drive. I've learned much since them and am still seeking ways to create sexual tension.

For me it is about commitment to the marriage, understanding that I cannot keep myself from my spouse and expect him to stay faithful. Now I was never a no sex person, just low libido. Hormones played a major factor as well, and stress was a biggie. So at different times in our marriage, there were different environments.

Desire to make amends, love my husband the way [b]HE needs to be loved is a major factor.

I love him and always have, so I sought education in all aspects. Psychologically, visually, in a tactile manner too!

I've learned it's okay to ask questions or even direct during the event.

I can't tell you what to do, because everyone is different and it has to come from within her. She has to be honest with herself and you.

I hope this gives you something with which to work!

<3<3<3