GUILT IS IT A GOOD SIGN?

[reachingHigher]

Hi Ambiv!

I read the last couple pages here of your thread and saw you confronted about Julie.

There are a lot of positives here especially in the kiss and the fact he is still interested in you.

I heard almost exactly the same things from my H about a year and a half ago. I'm not having sex with anyone. I don't want to lead anyone on since I'm still M.

There were lots of little things that made me feel he was lying -- a breakfast bill on our credit card from a fancy Marriott in the city, flowers at his apartment -- 20 red carnations, lots of other little scary "signs".

And then he told me that he was afraid he might have sex in a month or two. Like it would "just happen" and he would let me know when he was ready and it was coming up. Really scary.

Later in 2012, when I withheld affection from him, he said "I don't think either one of us s/b having sex right now,". They are so confused.

So....what I hear from your convo...that I would be careful about....and these are things people posted to me from here....vets...Labug, MrBond, job...is don't try to be his mother. If he is going to C and you say you want him to grow...it's like you own him and are his "manager"? And he doesn't wanna be owned right now.

You can bet Julie doesn't say things like that.

And I would skip the comments about what you're wearing underneath. Men are pretty clever. If you are dressing to attract....or changing your style...let HIM guess what is underneath. Let HIS imagination run wild. Let HIM want to know what's there.

I don't want to sound like a downer, and I think you are doing great with GAL, focusing on you and trying to keep it all together. Just suggesting a little mystery here.

And H & I discussed a lot of financial issues too. So painful.

It's like you hafta see yourself going down several paths at once:

GAL
Letting him go financially
Letting him go emotionally
Being hot physically
Letting him know you're still a safe place to talk to if he needs it

I hope I'm not too far off base....I didn't read everything...just response to the "Julie" talk.

Thinking of you today,
Ask me if there is anything else I can help with or share for you
rH