Feel like falling down

[willbwell]

Look for the positives. school event last night was a huge success for the school. I did look fab,and had a good time.so why am I feeling a little down this AM?

Can I just try and work thru some feelings/emotions here.

Why do I constantly replay the night and things h says and does over in my head? STOP.

I want to give a little background. I feel like there is something I am trying to uncover and NEED help doing it..

D15 goes to a special needs school. It is a private school that serves kids with cognitive disabilities from ages 8-22. My d has been at the school for 7 years. Every year, the school must come up with a significant amount of money just to cover operating costs. Our big auction is attended by members of the business community that support out school. our tuition is half of the actual operating cost per student, plus 35% of our students are on some form of financial aid/scholarship.so each year, the school has to raise this money.

I am completely and utterly grateful to the generous donors. I know this school for my daughter is a complete blessing.

At the event last night, I clap and cheer. I want to personally thank these donors. It benefits the school-

I think my exhuberance is part of my personality.

I rode with h to the event. H said up front, he wanted to leave early so I went ahead and plan to catch a ride home with friends.

We sit together at the event. We chat and enjoy.

I want to ask h, don't you miss me, but I know better.
Hate having to be guarded and feel the need to watch what I say around h. It is so exhausting. Why can't we just be normal like all our other couple friends. h left the event early. I got a ride home with friends. h told d he is out of town this week.

Yes, I get to Decide whether or not to stand. I take standing because I don't want the alternative.

I don't even know what I am trying to work thru here, or maybe I do but I am finding it too painful. plus d is up and ready for breakfast.
So, I need to get a move on.
get a move on, I guess therein lies the answer...