I've looked at life from both sides now

[Ambivalent]

Regarding the Dr./patient info... Let's say you asked H to have a full std panel (and you should if reconcile) and he agrees and does. Would YOU expect him to tell you if it was negative? How about positive? Not volunteering from him, but expecting info, either way, from him? How does that work? What part do you actually control?

I will want the written results . These can be attained, and it would be very reasonable to request these.

I hope so too, but I think we all want to think, learn , and grow.

I tend to think too much, and have to make myself stop.

Trust is a big deal in any relationship, but particularly prickly in a partnership! Heh heh heh...I'm on an alliteration roll tonight!

Why can't it change again, given different ideas, brain time?

Mine certainly have.

I believe it can, but everyone has core values, something that is particular to who they are. She may change, but if it destroys part of who she is, what she values, should she. Would it harm her more than help, and at the same time does it bring her closer to her H. or does it put distance between them?