Wife says she wants to leave

[planet]

I sat calmly, yet she know i was fuming. We left the restuarant i drove home, threw on some different clothes, gave my daughter a huge kiss and hug right in front of my W and then said, I'm going out.

She asked where, i said "Out". and then she asked if i would be here when she got back, and i said, "I don't Know." and then left.

Since then, she has called, left me a VM (i just wanted to let you know we were on the road, i'm sorry) , she never does this. and she has texted me twice and asked if i'm ok.

I have not responded yet. and i'm not sure if i'm going to.

This is the first phase. I kid you not. I was somewhat experiencing similar situation as yours very early on in my situation.
She's worried about you and that's genuine but don't let that fool you. She's still very much attached to OM. Soon she will not bother about your whereabouts. There will be plenty of untruths hitting you in the face. Be prepared.

The DB way would dictate that you give her plenty of time and space.

I would only agree to that up to certain point. I gave my W plenty of time and space. That allowed her much freedom to do what she wants and now my situation has turned to the worse. Thinking back, I may reconsider doing just that.

You will need to put your foot down whenever necessary especially matters pertaining to your children. Protect yourself first. Prioritize your children.