GUILT IS IT A GOOD SIGN?

[Ambivalent]

I'm trying to dig deep and allow him to experiment, it does hurt. I want to be the one with whom he experiments.

I want to clarify this, I mean "allow" as in the freedom to do it without fear of me judging, getting angry, or having to look into hurt eyes. No I still find it wrong, for we are married. But I choose not to wield it as a weapon to bludgeon.
I am loving him without condition, and yes I hope he will notice and someday appreciate it.
I just don't expect it Ha! (:o
For looking back , he gave me tons of unconditional love. I would want him to allow me mistakes , and time.

I know he doesn't want to hurt me, he loves me. He is confused and keeping all options open. Almost like us DR'ers.

We are keeping our options open. We are getting on with living, in pain , just like them. We are focusing on what we can do, where we will go, and leaving a door open...a candle burning.

Before I looked at it as, he wants to have fun and keep a back up plan. I was his fail safe. Well we are only IF we want to be. We know we can stop at any moment, when a line has been crossed that we'll terminate, if we so choose.