You know, there were several things in your post that I could have written myself. I completely understand where you are coming from.
Oh, and hi T. You know I love ya. But I'm going to disagree with you here - my feistiness coming through
I agree with Raine on the no secrets. I think secrets can destroy a R, slowly chip away at the very foundation of it.
In a new R, I wouldn't expect my partner to divulge every last thing that ever happened to them in a R. These things happened BEFORE me. They were not a violation of my trust in any way, not a betrayal.
MLC or not, when an affair happens and trust is broken, it needs to be earned back. And that doesn't happen by sweeping things under the carpet.
I think that unless everything can all be put out there, as much as it can be with the MLC memory, then there is the chance that wound could never heal. Something popping up months or years after could rip that wound open again, undoing everything. I wouldn't want that.
The stander does have to ultimately make a choice - am I going to forgive and move forward?
But I think a lot goes into making that happen. That includes transparency and giving them the benefit of a doubt.
Man, this is a long, treacherous road. Yet we choose to still be on it.
I think you are an amazing woman Raine, I really do. And I'm with ya all the way whatever you do
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
