The answers ,yes and no. I wanted to prove to myself that I could have a scary conversation without anger, or tears. Confront my fears.
When I mentioned Julie, it bothered me that he could look me straight in the eyes and say he wasn't having sex. The Viagra and pill splitter tell me differently.
The fact that she called twice around eleven and eleven thirty a.m., has me concerned. I don't know her age, and I worry about pregnancy and std's.
With the " Don't believe anything they say and half of what they do." Where does this leave me in understanding or trust?
When he says no he hasn't had sex. I should hear, yes I have had sex? When I hear " I don't want to lead anyone on." I should hear what?
The flirting and responses were nice, and I enjoyed the kiss. I'm glad he'll come for Thanksgiving. Especially for my daughters and yes even his brother.
I'm trying to dig deep and allow him to experiment, it does hurt. I want to be the one with whom he experiments.
He has conscientiously chosen not to.
So now I must focus on getting him the cable show list.
Open a checking acct. and look for another job.
Looking for a job is scary for me. I'm so afraid of biting off more than I can chew.
I have to remember how I felt last night. How I CAN feel good about myself. That I'm learning something new, and I'm meeting new people. That I'm attractive to others , and I have much to offer.
It is amazing how one's self perception can be shaken when going through someone else's mid life experience.
One day at a time, one moment in time
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
