I've looked at life from both sides now

[Ambivalent]

Hi T.!

I am curious about your post. I understand that for a couple to go forward together there needs to be trust.

Since trust was broken, one partner needs to feel able to trust again.

Many counselors will ask the trust breaking partner to
work on building it back up.

Suggestions have been , unlock phones or give pass numbers
unlock computers or give passwords

Have joint facebook account instead of two separate ones

It may be too soon with Raine and her spouse, but if the spouse is willing to work on marriage, would you then think what she wrote as controlling or just a goal to be achieved?

Everyone has secrets ; when it comes to being intimately involved either sexually or emotionally isn't sharing this with each other a way of becoming a team again? For if it is a secret kept with another ( fling, f-buddy, or affair ) doesn't this keep intimacy with the other, and keep intimacy from the one with whom we are reconnecting?

How would someone be able to completely trust again?