Hardened Heart 5 - 6 Months into this....

[2old]

Hey Rick, good to hear from you. Yes, I know they are only papers I get that....Lots of things been changing for me of late and most all for the better. I just cant help to wonder why she hasn't pulled the trigger yet so to speak.

Anyway's loving it now that I'm back here in the Smoky Mts. Ha, even have some friends still here from whence I lived here previously....

[hotwheelsaust]

2old, well done with the first day at work. Nice thing is very few know you, so you can show them from day one the new PMA 2old.
Like my W, she has been so used to (in her view) me running the show, now she is running the show, she realises maybe it isn't as easy as it looked. Maybe they simpl don't like being the initiaters. Or maybe the aliens just simply find it hard to do paperwork.

[2old]

Thanks HWA, It was a good first day....Yea who knows what the deal is with the lack of D filed. It would appear to be gospel though with the "believe none of what they say and half of what they do". I see your W has made some unexpected and somewhat bewildering contact with you here recently.

Planet, I have read so many sitchs here some where the Spouse pushes for D and gets it done. Then others like mine the Spouse implies their getting it done but seem to drag their feet in actually following thru. Its not that we b___ing about it's just human nature though to wonder whats going on in their mind. Maybe the fog is so thick they cant quite find their way to the courthouse?

[hotwheelsaust]

2old, well mine cannot find her way to the solicitors for the binding financial agreement. I wonder if she can then find her way to the computer for the divorce, as ours can be done online. It's a pea soup type of fog.

[TryingToDo180]

My H would get the D done tomorrow if he had the money. I feel he wants the D for the wrong reasons, to get his hands on half the house. Sometimes the judge will award the LBS the whole house, so if he's expecting half then he may not get it.
Anyway, I'm hijacking 2old's thread here. Great news all around on the job, new friends, PMA and maybe GALing If W hasn't filed yet, it sounds like it was an empty threat. Just take it as red that she's not going to file for now and get on with your life
I was stressing for months over it until H had the decency to actually tell me he couldn't afford the D!

[2old]

So I haven't posted in a few days here been actually GALing...The new job is okay and there are several positions popping up more suited to my profession. I have the Dept. heads okay to apply where ever whenever. Very good monies involved with this company also since they are Govt contractors.

To the sitch front, nothing happening. W remains quiet as do I. Nothing filed as yet from her so I dont know what to think about that. We can all talk and advise about GALing but we all have to admit there is still emotions going on inside. Yes, I have learned and accepted to detach however, there is still some hurt.

I will be honest that I continue to hope she will initiate contact however, it is not happening. 7 months and her course still appears to be the same, to cut me out of her life completely. I know I might get a 2 x 4 but it still makes no sense how she left without a word and how she continues to stay N/C. I want to believe she has her moments of anguish and that her life cant be so great that she could never look back and feel some hurt or emotion.

I realize there are no real answers coming any time soon if ever. But, her mindset is what I would like to have some insight to. The matter of how in just hours we went from talking and doing for each other to not talking and not seeing each other for the past 7 months is a complete and utter mystery to me. I am not looking forward to Christmas as it's almost in full swing. It's going to be a loooong holiday season this year.

I will continue to try however to hold myself with Class, Honor and Dignity!

[TryingToDo180]

Glad to hear that you're GALing and you've got a job Yes the sitch will stay with you and you will think about it, I know I do. Think yourself lucky that she doesn't contact you, I just get hassle from my H.
I wasn't looking forward to the holidays, but I've decided to embrace it instead of feeling down about it. I suppose it's different with me though as I've got my son with me.
My son is going to his dad's on Boxing Day, so as far as I'm concerned Boxing Day is cancelled, lol.
I was thinking today actually what I could do on Boxing Day and thought about helping out at a soup kitchen. It may be something that you could do, you'll feel great inside for doing something like that You get a Christmas meal as well and make friends with the other volunteers as well. Failing that I think one of our local Churches put on a meal on Boxing Day, I may have to look into this
I always feel good about volunteering and it's what Jesus would want us to do
You could go to Church as well on Christmas Day to remind you of the true meaning of Christmas, enjoy the company of the other Church members and get a spiritual top up
I wouldn't normally suggest things like this to everyone, but I know you've got faith like me
Have you posted in the MLC forum yet? Thanks for pointing me to it One thing though, what's an alienator and what does dis-ease stand for? I couldn't find it anywhere on the MLC website. Do you have any idea?

[Cadet]

One thing though, what's an alienator and what does dis-ease stand for?

Alienator = OM or OW as appropriate.

MLC = dis-ease. Not a sickness or diagnosable condition. I will see if I can find a better definition and post it to you.

[TryingToDo180]

Thanks Cadet I thought dis-ease was something like dis and ease, but that didn't make sense either

[hotwheelsaust]

2old. It is hard for some of us who the BD was so sudden and very unexpected. Continue on your journey, you are doing well.
Because if like me, the real reason finally comes out, you need to be able to handle it. Otherwise it will be like a second BD.