Just wanted to let you now that i'm reading your thread.
You are right, this does feel like cruelty... but in my more philosophical/evolved moments, I can see that mlcers aren't doing this to hurt us. They can't possibly help what they are doing - I know, like you, that my H ( the man I married and had kids with) would not have done these things to his family.
However, he is not that man any more - and may never be again.
It's our choice to stand for our marriages, but we have to do it in the knowledge that this crisis takes a very long time to come out of - we are talking years.
My experience is that you can eventually feel better on a day-to-day basis. The pain is still there, but life can be good again.
The more you can push yourself to get out and meet new people/try new things, the better you will feel - at least in the longer term.
Please believe that you will feel better - and that the terrible downs you are experiencing are something that we have all been through in this life-changing process.
