2TH, for me anyway, it would help if you would set up a signature. It helps to job people's memory about your situation so they don't have to go back and read your original posts. Sometimes people don't have time to do this, so they might not bother responding at all.
As for your 180 of going out with her friends . . . be careful not to use 180s to turn yourself into someone you're not. You really want 180s to be things that are consistent with who you are. If you just plain don't like going out with her friends, then (a) you might have a crappy time and she will notice - this will backfire as it will only prove to her what she already sees in you; and (b) more importantly, 180s should be things that you can maintain if you R. You don't want to do things that you aren't into just to get her back, and then quit once you R.
Are you in IC? It seems to me that might help. It sounds like you have some issues to work on yourself - we all do!
Thanks for your reply.
About going out with her friends... It's not that I don't like to hang out with her friends/family, it's just that I'm a bit past the going out all the time phase. I love my son like crazy and I have so much fun with him. Everytime I've gone out with her and her friends I am very social. Which is a huge 180 from when I was a teenager. I'm generally shy but as I approached my late 20's-30's I've become more comfortable around people. So maintaining this 180 isn't really difficult. What's difficult is whether or not she believes me. Which I have no control over.
About IC. I've been in IC for close to 2 years now. I'm sort of ahead of the game with regards to that. My W is just getting set up with IC. My counselor said it best. She said that I'm in the late stages of change while my W is at the beginning. I know change doesn't happen over night but I've been at this for 2 years. My W knows I've changed but she has a tough time relating to this new me. She still treats me like I'm my old self which causes problems. Today in counseling she said she still reacts to the way I used to be. That's something she has to figure out. There was a bit of a breakthrough in counseling today though. Our counselor asked what would we like to work on. I mentioned I'd like to find a way to communicate better without all the negative perceptions. During our next session we will be working on that. I admit it was bit of a selfish move but it would make life so much easier if my W didn't mind read me. Removing negative perceptions is something we all should do, including myself.
I will work on a signature.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
