I agree what it does not matter which one is the real situation. If he was just trying to get me to stop setting a boundary, then it will likely stop when I set the boundary. And honestly I am ok with it because at least I will know his real intentions. If he is worried about losing me, then maybe he will look deeper and try and figure out what he wants. Who knows.
While my long term goal is to R, my other goal is to preserve our co-parenting relationship because our kids deserve that much. I am worried that if H keeps disrespecting me with OW and his dreams of the perfect life despite the costs to others, it will be difficult to co-parent as positively as I would like. I don't want to allow him to continue to hurt me to the point that I hate him.
Crappy night...just venting. Tonight was the first time I was not included in an event with H's family. H took the boys to dinner with his family to celebrate FIL and BIL birthdays. I was not invited (h kind of asked as an afterthought). For 15 years, H's family has been my family. It hurt to hear all about it. How did this become my life???
3, I totally empathize with you. It [censored]. Next weekend my H is taking my kids on a trip that I planned for a wedding on H's side of the family. It was something I was really looking forward to, and H doesn't want me there.
I don't know, maybe I am grasping at straws, but I do think that H inviting you probably meant something. You said it was an afterthought - maybe he just wasn't sure if you'd want to do. Or he was confused about whether to invite you. Or he just forgot like men do. Or maybe it wasn't an afterthought at all - maybe the plans were not made too far in advance. There are all kinds of possibilities, but in the end, he did invite you. So I think that's something.
I too, ask that question - how did this become my life? I try to remind myself that doesn't help, and that I need to live the life I've been given (and remember the role I played in making it this way), but it is unbearably difficult at times. I am not religious at all but hope that my friends are correct when they say things happen for a reason . . . hopefully one day I will look back at this without all the painful emotions I have now.
Hope your day gets better - hang in there!!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
