In one of my failed conversations, or should I say angry outburst, with w I told her that I had to deal with my first w having an a and that I would be damned if I would deal with one this time around. So if there is one, I don't think she would think it would be any use to come back. I know pure speculation on my part. I guess I am not to the point yet to think it's ok for the s to have an a, I know in a lot of cases it part of the process, maybe my expectations are too high
M 47 W 38 My S 21 Her S 17 Our S 8 M 8 DB 9/5/13
"You don't know how strong you are until strength Is all you have" Bob Marley
So if there is one, I don't think she would think it would be any use to come back. I know pure speculation on my part. I guess I am not to the point yet to think it's ok for the s to have an a, I know in a lot of cases it part of the process, maybe my expectations are too high
It is not okay to have an A when married. It is not okay to be a doormat to the A spouse. If you think you are defeated, then you will act defeated. That is not okay if you expect a future with her.
This will take hard work for both of you. Don't be jealous of her b/c when it hits her....then she will have added issues to deal with. In the meantime, you don't use a substance as a crutch or to hide behind b/c that doesn't spell work.
Until you have a personal plan with set goals (just for you) then you probably won't get up and really start to work.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, thanks for the reply. No I'm not hiding behind a substance this time, I'm feeling the full pain. I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of this. This weekend is suppose to be her last weekend here, I'm trying to let go but it just not happening at he moment.
M 47 W 38 My S 21 Her S 17 Our S 8 M 8 DB 9/5/13
"You don't know how strong you are until strength Is all you have" Bob Marley
