on the edge...

[dingo]

Well - its close to decision time for her. She and I have spoken a couple of times today and we even went for a drive just to get out of our offices. Both of us have been stressed out, havent gotten much work done and are emotionally exhausted from this week. As bad as it sounds, it was almost a bonding moment for us to be sharing those kinds of feelings together.

She still says she feels like nothing we have tried has worked so far and that moving out is the drastic change she needs to get off of the fence. Apparently she sees a lot of value and potential in our relationship right now but for reasons she doesn't know, her heart is not into it.

As of an hour ago, she still felt that this was the only way but that she was having a very hard time letting go of our life together. She thinks she probably will not be able to really make a decision until she's in the moment - either signing the lease or driving by and skipping the meeting.

I told her that she has to do what she thinks in her heart is the right thing. We will be right back in the same position if she doesnt sign because she's afraid I will divorce her or because she doesn't want to hurt me. If those things convince her not to sign, it will only make her resentful and won't be something she's convicted to stick to.

I told her I hoped she had a genuine change of heart and she told me that she hopes that if she does go through with it, that I will reconsider my stance of asking for a divorce. I guess I believe in my heart that if her feelings are so confused that she has to move out, there will be very little that can genuinely bring them back to where they need to be.