3, you could be correct, that your H is just freaking out because he is losing control. Like wanting something you can't have only because you can't have it rather than because you really want it.

But it could also be that he does want it. He just isn't sure about it, or he wants both you and OW.

I guess it doesn't really matter which one is the real situation. Either way, of course you do need to set boundaries. Did your DB coach suggest setting boundaries around contact and family time, or OW?

Quote:
What did I used to do with my time when life was simple?


I wonder this myself. Then I see the giant pile of mail I haven't even opened. Ugh. It's awful being so consumed with this all the time, isn't it?

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14