GUILT IS IT A GOOD SIGN?

[Ambivalent]

Patient,
I tested mine with myself and daughter. It was accurate for me. I also look at the time and date someone responds. So far so good. It will give you peace of mind though.

Enjoy it!

[Ambivalent]

Hey Mudpuddle!

I am really working on my attitude. Trying to think about if it was me in this MLC. How would I want to be received by my H. while doing whatever and going through his pain.

At worse we divorce, at best we reconcile and have a better relationship.

Weight loss is giving me a boost. Going to dance tonight and trying to keep a happy face on!

One day at a time, one moment in time.

[Ambivalent]

H will be here at the crack of dawn for hunting tom. morn.

The guys have enjoyed the breakf. sandwiches and coffee.

I'll do individual juices and a thermos of coffee.

I have muffins , Canadian bacon and some eggs I can do...so their won't be any rumbly in their tumblies for the hunt!

Off to dancing!

[Ambivalent]

What I'm thankful for today:

My daughters and their love

Groceries in my fridge

I got in to get hair done

A pair of great fitting jeans

Another pound ...HOOT!

A nice time at dance tonight

I'm getting more comfortable going to these dances alone.

I'm seeing faces at the dance from my classes and people are asking me to dance! I'm still learning but twice tonight I was told I have great rhythm !

I'm going to be okay, I only thought of H once tonight. I guess with time it will get easier. I just have to keep plugging along. I hope I can keep this up, it is hard but I have to keep trying...

One day at a time, one moment in time.

[willbwell]

Ambivalent, thought of you yesterday. I was having a facial. Gosh it was so great! If I had the money, I would have one once a month! Your d's will get to benefit!

I too try to remember a day at a time.

I bought some dance lessons on groupon. My goal for next week is to get my classes scheduled!

Still trying to knock out a paper for school. want it done by Thanksgiving. Its due early Dec.

However sit turns out with my h, I too know, I will be ok. Keeping my focus there on my positives and what I do have!

[Ambivalent]

That's great WB,

The dancing is quite a workout. Last night I thought I'd die on the dance floor. When younger I used to dance for hours...I was in awesome shape, and had NO clue!

[Whiterose]

I love to dance! sometimes I turn the stereo right up and just dance around the living room

hope you're all having a great day:)

[Ambivalent]

TORTURE, I just wrote 25 mins of update, and I accidentally close!d the window. UUUUUgh!

After the hunt, H. came to house.

He brought in his overnight bag and said he was going to use the bathroom upstairs.

I went up there to get stuff out of the bathroom, and continued to tidy upstairs. We chatted about his job, my dancing, casual. He was very specific in wanting details about where my dances were. He was also looking at the phone and texting simultaneously.

I told him I wanted to talk about something and it may be uncomfortable.

I asked where we were with "dating" and casual sex. What were his thoughts.

His reply was that while he is "meeting" people he is not engaged in sex. He is taking care of himself. He didn't feel comfortable leading anyone on, since we are still married.

He didn't want to keep me from any activity if that was what I was asking.
I said I just wanted to know in case I want to jump your bones, would I need protection? He smirked/grinned giggled and did not say he didn't desire me. I said I had been reading and researching and let him know I was interested. Not pushy, just in a flirty kind of way. Let him know I was wearing different undergarments and how they made me feel.
His eyes flashed and he said "GOOD!" in a higher pitched tone.

A phone message that Julie called came while we were talking. I took the opportunity to confront him about what I just saw on his phone.

I said "...when he was in the bathroom a Julie, called and that I wanted us to be open and honest in our communications. "

He agreed, and again said he ..." didn't want to lead "anyone" on."

Went into too much detail about how he felt about engaging in casual sex or getting involved, that he was meeting different people...MIND READING ALERT...I

I don't believe a word he says, which is sad, because it was a very calm, matter of fact type of conversational tone from me and a great opportunity to be truly open. Either not feeling safe, or fear of shutting a door?

We talked about finances and he made an attempt at softening the exchange we had in text about " make some money " and his grumpy tone.
We went through the mail together, and discussed that I should go and get a checking acct with a debit card. We had discussed this in the past. NOTE TO SELF ****

DO IT !

He said he has an appt. next week with his counselor and I was casual about it. I hope it goes well and he can grow .

While he was upstairs looking up rental cars for our oldest I went downstairs to clean the kitchen a bit.

As he was getting ready to leave, I got a quick body scan. He came over and kissed me on the mouth...I lingered and lightly sucked on his lower lip. His response was "troublemaker" in a playful and flirty tone.

At the gate he asked me if he wanted me to bring anything for Thanksgiving, we exchanged back and forth and he left with a smile and good frame of mind.

That was just the start of my day.

[Ambivalent]

Any thoughts on last post ?
*****************************************************************
List for today

Arrange leaves for table

Go over school kit

Study

Workout

Maybe movie?

[Whiterose]

well, that was a pretty good start to the day I would say!!!!!

do YOU feel better asking those questions and with the answers?

kissing.....lucky lady:)