Well I lost my patience after trying to do the 180 for a couple weeks. Since my wife got served the D papers, she has gone out at night almost every night returning at 11pm-12midnight. The last 6 nights, she went out 5 of them. I finally had to say something to her which was basically "it's not good for our kids, don't forget you are still a mother". She got all defensive, saying it was all work related and she is just busy right now. But she admits some of the days were just drinking with co-workers and a party with friends. The other days I am reasonably sure she met the OM after her client meetings (if there even really were mtgs). Who stays out with clients on weekdays til 11-12midnight?
I finally asked her how she feels about my filing for divorce. She said she is worried about divorce. Then we get into an long argument. She denies the affair is still ongoing. I ask her to show me her 2nd cell phone bill to prove that. Or just admit that the affair is still ongoing which is why she is still on the fence. I said I can understand her indecision if the affair is still active. But I say I can't stand the repeated lying. Her response to me was lets just get a divorce then. She refuses to do either of the things I ask. I have a sense that she doesn't want it to look like the marriage is ending because of the affair. That is why she is unwilling to do either of the things above (because both will show the affair is ongoing). But I tell her the reason I filed is because I think the affair is ongoing and she is lying about it. And that is my boundary.
So I really feel like I can't back down now. My wife maybe trying to bluff me. Or maybe she really decided divorce is what she wants. I really can't understand what she is thinking. I will continue the 180 and go very dim/dark on her.
I'm now having doubts if I even want to be still married to her. I definitely made mistakes before and after D-day. But I put way more effort into the marriage prior to the affair. And even after the affair, I've made all the effort to try and fix the situation. If I think this is the way its going to be even if we do try to reconcile, and maybe after, it's not very appealing to me. Maybe I should cut my losses and just go through with the divorce.
