Quarter Life Crisis?

[flgurl84]

TGIF!!

Feeling slightly under the weather. The cool dry weather here in FL has got my nose acting up. Headaches, sniffles...maybe its just allergies.

Yesterday was a strange evening. I got home and Boo was there. We had a talk about his best friend and sister. Boo had gotten a text (as I did) from his friend. His friend called him, and I quote, "an angry bitter child."

I am in complete shock. IMHO, his sister is influencing his feelings about Boo, and it makes me so sad. Art (the friend) would NEVER talk to Boo like that in the past. He is completely brainwashed by is sister. I am so sad for Boo. BUT, it has helped me to do some DBing, I have been able to put my new active listening into affect, and feeling validation also. So that is a plus for me.

It really seems like his whole support system (mom, best friend, sister) are against him. I know that I helped push them to be that way, constantly talking about OR. Although they love Boo, they are very disappointed in his decisions and actions regarding interactions with them and me.

I just got the book by Jim and Sally Conway, When A Mate Wants Out. It is great! Although I am no novice DBer (but still have plenty of hard road ahead, and plenty to learn and change) the book is pointing out some really important new things.

One is, STOP TELLING EVERYONE! I wish I could turn back time (oh Cher) but I can't so I just need to stop. I talked to anyone who listened. His mom, my mom, his sis, his friend, my friends, my mom's friends, my aunts, my boss. Yup. Too much.

I've already cut off his sis and Art (the friend). That is a whole situation in itself, but I wish them no ill will, but I truly feel they have been bad friends and family to me and boo, but I forgive them. However, I will never trust either of them, nor do I want to have a deep relationship with either of them. That is my choice. Boo claims to feel the same, but they are his PEOPLE. His sis and best friend, so if he feels the need to have a relationship with them, that is his choice and I will not resent him for it.

I also have to cut off his mom. Not as far as complete cut off, just stop talking about me and Boo. I still see her as a friend and my family, but I need to keep my marriage problems to a couple of trusted friends.

Right now, Boo is in replay, going back and forth btw home and his bachelor pad, opening up to me a little, and doing nice things for me, which I appreciate.

Yesterday I had 6 random notes placed around the house, with funny inside jokes written on them. One made me laugh out loud! Funny notes are a pretty regular occurrence, but he took the time to right out 6 of them and hide them around the house! How Cute!

When we talked about his text convo with Art, I told him about the one I received and how I was upset that Art told me I deserved better. I turned the situation around, and thought, "what if my BFF told my H that he deserved better than me?" Even though I DO deserve better, why would Boo's BFF betray him like that? He hasn't even tried to understand what Boo is going through, and Boo hasn't told him because he feels he can't confide in him, because it will go straight to Boo's sis then to his mom. I actually feel really bad that he has no one to confide in.

I told him that I was trying to be more open to criticism and trying to be a better listener and he can talk to me if he wants, but I understand if he doesn't want to. I told him I was really trying to change, he said he knew, he sees it.

So that is my Friday so far, but its only 10AM.

Boo did offer me a delish sandwich he made for lunch.

Back to my work. Hope everyone has a blessed morning.