[labug]

It might be helpful if you journaled like that more. You keep a tight lid on things, and it just keeps rattling around in your brain. Bring that stuff into the light of day and look at it. Be honest with yourself. I think you're very angry and hurt, we all have been there.

I can understand why you think she seems selfish, it's painful when we realize we've missed a chance and something important is going away. Grieving that loss is part of the process. Anger is part of the process. You have to feel it.

You're borrowing trouble from tomorrow. S8 will most likely have lots of thoughts about his circumstances as he gets older but you have no way of knowing what those will be. Having loving people around him who help him deal with that is the most important thing here. Keeping an unhappy marriage together for the sake of the kids is not a benefit to the kids.

I think what your W is doing in regards to S8 is very logical and loving. I would do the same. I'm not sure how this complicates the picture further.

About the guardian, answer questions truthfully. What else can/would you do?

What would the alternative to what she's suggesting be? (leaving out the obvious, reconciliation)