I woke up at 4:30 praying, and don't plan to stop, and I already know things are different because I would've been calling her up about what a whore she was, and right now, I just feel sad that she got so lost. None of this will impact my desire to continue to change and better myself, even if I never see W again.
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@Wonka - when she chooses to spread her legs, sorry, a PA is my deal breaker. I wish her ALL the best, sincerely.
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I did respond rashly and emotionally yesterday. If this was a year ago, I would've spit in W's face, called her a whore, and never spoken to her again.
You may not have verbalized it to her this time but it sounds like you have in the past and you have at least thought it many times. I must have been confusing the date with another thread, sorry.
My point was not that you are a bad person or that she shouldn't trust you, it was that there are times we do things we normally wouldn't do. W's ability to have an A came from how hurt she was in the M and her mistaken belief that it would solve her problems and take her pain away. My A had nothing to do with my H, by then I was so lonely and felt so unloved, it was all about me. Having an A does not mean that your w doesn't know what love is and cannot be committed to you. It means that your M was dead, she was lost and she didn't know any other way to save herself at that point.
You have to decide if you are willing to take the chance and, if you are, you need to be as committed to that as your W is to rebuilding your M. Don't forget that your W is also taking a chance that she will be going back to the same pain she was in before her A. She is placing her faith in the fact that you have changed enough to have a different M, you need to place your faith in the fact that she has learned enough from this experience to change her behaviors too.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
