I fully expect her to put on a mask for the holidays. This is what she has been doing around all her friends and such. She will put on the mask and try to exclude me from conversations so that it looks like I'm being the unfriendly a$$hole. This has basically been her MO over the last few months. She has just been erasing me from the family whenever she can.
Yep, you are learning. And you are seeing what is, vs. what "should be". I put that last part in quotes because, well, it's irrelevant. What is, is what matters. How you deal with what is, is what matters even more.
Of course she's trying to paint the picture that you're (literally) out of the picture. It's part of the fantasy and it would be crazy and incongruent if she didn't. I think you need to focus on you despite what others think or do. It's your life, not theirs. The people she's telling it to (her mom)? Really? As if that's somebody to look up to, right?
You have a clue as to the damage to your W. You can't fix it. You can however, be there for her, and you can live your life and be there for your boys. You cannot control her or her feelings.
I'll tell you that all those people she's telling her "story" to? 99% of them know better. Those that do not? They don't because they really do not care. I was in those shoes and felt the same when my ex did similar. I wanted to tell everyone "the truth" as I knew it. I did not, and I'm glad I did not.
In recent years I've run into several of them and they all tell the same story - they didn't believe it and they tried to tell her otherwise, but she wasn't listening. They won't listen until they are ready to hear, and they likely won't listen to you at all. You're the last person she'll listen to. Literally.
I share that because you may get some of those thoughts. What is clear to you, doesn't exist to her. Her feelings and issues are what is real to her. Everything else doesn't matter right now. She needs to deal with whatever she needs to deal with before she can hear anything. It's that critical to her and that strong an emotion for her.
Nice job on the 5k. I've run several and really enjoy them. I also like the mud runs although they can be a little cold
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
