Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

Kdog,
I have quit drinking. The day before the S was the last drink I had. I dont miss it I told her that day I was done drinking forever if she wanted me too. She has noticed that I am not drinking I still go to the private clubs we are members of and mingle with friends but do not drink. I know they confirm with her. I quit smoking the same way. She quit before me and had a tough time but has kept it up for almost 2 years. I quit 6 months after her and have never felt better. I always told her thoughout the M I could stop both vices anytime and it would not bother me one bit.

The quitting smoking actually was an agreed upon stipulation for us to start a family. We both did it so I thought it was a go. If you read my back story you will see that isnt the case I guess. She still drinks and I have no problem with that even if we reconcile I wouldnt have an issue. If we do start a family it will change our lives so profoundly that I think the drinking would just quietly go away. We would have other things to occupy our time. She is well aware of this as I explained to her about a month ago. The problem is trusting that these changes will stick. I understand that. I believe she is having a hard accepting the fact that I am fighting so hard for our M and our future family. Had she asked for all this to place before the S I most certainly would have done it. We lacked some relationship skills and avoied conflicts until they festered and became toxic to our M.