Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

MrBond,
I will think it over. It is good solid advice that you give. I believe from talking to the L before that I do have a right to move back in. It will just get a little more complicated if she were to call the authorities. When we were discussing this move back during that convo 4 weeks ago. It was after we had just talked about the M for about an hour which she initiated. It was very heartfelt on both of our parts at some points.Then when I asked to finish watching a football game before I left is when she said that made her uncomfortable like I was planning on staying there from that point on.

I told her that was not the case but I would like to move back in a couple of days. That is when she said she would call the police if I didnt leave right then. I told her that was her decision. She never called them and we proceeded to talk about all the reasons I felt I was able to move back in and she proceeded to tell me all the reasons I couldnt.

This went on for about a half an hour. If she wanted she had ample opportunity to make the call but didnt. Actually over the next day or so she could have gotten a protection order against me but didnt. I am not sure but it seems as if she understands that if something like this were to take place it might just turn my family against her which I believe would be something that she does not want because she loves them and they love her and she does not want to lose them.

That whole time I just kept telling her in a calm manner that if she wanted to stay she could. If she wanted to go she could. That was her decision. I had no right to ask her whereabouts or what she was doing or with who and I would expect the same respect from her. She said this move back was just a way of controlling her life and forcing her out of our house. I reassured her that was not the case. It would be good for both of us but mostly her because I would be willing to pay more of the bills and buy groceries which would relieve some burden from her considering she was not and has not worked since about 3 week after the S.

So I guess I could be a little more forceful next time and maybe call her bluff again but it is just so emotional exhausting at times. I have been over the house 3 times since then. Once she was not there but we spoke by phone while I was there.

The next time we had a nice conversation for about 15mins before she had to leave. And this past weekend I was there and picked up something. I talked with the neighbors and then went back inside and showed her some samples of flooring that I would like to install. She said it was like the stuff she wanted a few years prior to this but I refused.I politely reminded her we both agreed that it was a great idea but that it should wait till our beloved dog had crossed the rainbow bridge.

I asked her opinion on something from the next room and I heard her voice crack and I said are you ok? She said "please go I dont want to fight." I said "I didnt realize we were fighting I thought we were deciding on flooring options." I peaked around the corner and she said again" please go" but it was not in a demanding tone and I could tell she was about to tear up so I said sure and went downstairs and out the back way.

Two days later she stops over my parents house to give my mom a birthday card.

I certainly dont want to be confrontational but I guess I could be a little bit more firm on my stance about moving back.Sometimes I think she might be ok with it but cant let it happen because it would show signs of weakness if she gave in like that. Is there any way to move back in and allow her to save her pride? If this could be done I feel she would be more likely to remain in our home which would help the reconciliation process along possibly.