Seperation VS Divorce

[lovethehub]

Sorry, I didn't see your response to Bond until after I replied..

I don't think it is true. He is never a very romantic person since we met each other almost twenty years ago. Or He wanted other person to be romantic or show passion to him, but at least he didn't know how to do these kind of things to others. But just suddenly starting from early this year, he claimed there is no panssion in our R because he dreamed about some fantasy/wild things, like traveling to some remote and unsecured countries or doing some adventures.

That is your perspective, just remember, that doesn't make it H's. Romance and passion aren't always the same thing. If he 'wanted the other person to, and then suddenly started claiming there was no passion' it sounds like that was his way of telling you what he needed from you. The idea of DB isn't always agreeing, it is learning to understand that, even in the same M, we don't have the same experience of our M; it is learning to hear what the other person says, validate their feeling and let them know you understand and you are sorry you made them feel that way. There may be things that you never agree about but that doesn't prevent you from understanding why H may have felt that way.

But I cannot do that together with him, especially we have two young kids need to be taken care.

You may not be able to go at the drop of hat but having children should not prevent you from spending some time with your h if you can afford to get away and have someone trustworthy to care for them. When my children were 9 months and 5 yrs old I earned a trip to Hawaii. H and I went for 9 days while my SIL took care of the kids. It was hard to be away that long but it was well worth it. The children survived, too!

So I replied nobody in the world are the same, if you want your wife exactly the same person as you, then you must have read too much novel :-(

Your H is trying to tell you how he felt. While he may not be doing it in the best way, it will not help your situation to turn his words around on him. Next time, try to understand what he is saying and then let him know you understand and you are sorry.