Me 13 months on, affair finally confirmed.

[TryingToDo180]

Hey HWA
I don't know if you're just venting off, but I'll take this bit anyway and add my two cents worth

Some of the things I need to put down, just to get them off my mind in a way:
* While I am not angry, I do feel some form of anger thinking that the family still blames me for all of this.

They're being ridiculous! How can it be still your fault. Families can get over emotional about this, you know what trouble I've had with my mum. She hates my H at the mo and it's all his fault according to her.

* Do I tell my boys about this? Or do I let them find out in there own way - which usually means the family (in laws) will tell them.

I think they shouldn't find out about this just yet and I don't think the in-laws will tell them about the sitch. Wait until you get up there and try and break it to them gently. Go with your gut about this

* I do find it very funny (it a strange way) that the W is already having issues about wanting to come back home to the city at the end of the next year, but the other woman doesn't want to leave the country.

second thoughts maybe? Does she really know what she wants? NOW I'm the one who's mind reading, lol.

* Am I very silly to stick to my values and vows, by keeping my ring on and not initiating any negative moves (asset splitting and divorce)?

No you are not and don't initiate anything. Let her do all the donkey work. The only thing that's changed is that you now know about her affair, nothing else should change.

Do I tell the W I know she is in a relationship? What do I say if I do tell her?

Again, I wouldn't. She may still deny it to you even though it's pretty obvious! I've never mentioned anything to H about what I know about his "friend".

I hope I've helped a bit I know you're probably angry about this right now, but just carry on as if you've not found out about it