JonF, after what I found out about my W in the last couple of days, I do get the OW being more down the ladder. My OW my W is with is a very unattractive lady, a very lesbian looking person (apologies) who dresses very butch.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
