Me 13 months on, affair finally confirmed.

[hotwheelsaust]

Ok I have firstly booked a session with the coach, but it isn't until the 27th November. I am still fine with everything, no serious emotional rollercoaster ride.

Some of the things I need to put down, just to get them off my mind in a way:
* While I am not angry, I do feel some form of anger thinking that the family still blames me for all of this.
* I know (mindreading) that the family will tend to just continue on and be ok with the W finishing her marriage with an affair with another woman.
* It does p**s me off that the MIL first comment after hearing the W say she was in a relationship was "when are you both going to move back here". After knowing the MIL for over 25 years that really hits deep.
* Do I tell my boys about this? Or do I let them find out in there own way - which usually means the family (in laws) will tell them.
* I do find it very funny (it a strange way) that the W is already having issues about wanting to come back home to the city at the end of the next year, but the other woman doesn't want to leave the country.
* Am I very silly to stick to my values and vows, by keeping my ring on and not initiating any negative moves (asset splitting and divorce)?
* Do I tell the W I know she is in a relationship? What do I say if I do tell her?


None of these issues are getting me down. None of these issues are so important they have to be done yesterday. I just wanted to put them on the forum.
While it is such a relief to have this come out, it has also made me think I have spent 13 months not necessarily doing the wrong thing, but could have been doing something differently.
So many things make so much sense now:
* The changing the facebook info from separated to nothing.
* The changing her title as a teacher from Mrs to Miss
* The way she acted way back in the beginning when the whole family (14 of us) went on the cruise
* The taking or throwing out of the wedding framed pictures.
* The ring being taken off the first day of BD.
* Being given BD after the W came back from a weekend away with the OW.
* The time I saw her say goodbye to the OW, with a cuddle and then a kiss, look into each other's eyes, then repeat twice.
* The letters or texts stating she knew I loved her but didn't show her enough.
* The not wanting any belongings at all from the house.
* The indecisions in doing anything: the solicitor will do the paperwork next week, and many months later I get it.
* The buying the pup - I knew you don't do that unless you are in a good situation.
* The constanct texts and phone calls when she was on holidays with the family
* The fact that everyone seemed to see them together once and simply state they are together, it just was so obvious.
* The simple fact of being so different to the norm when separated and supposdedly not in a relationship with someone else. It simply didn't add up, her behaviour if not in a relationship.