CC, Despite what you are going through, you sound very calm and grounded. That's a huge step in the right direction.
Journaling is very cathartic and it's a good way to go back and revisit in the months to come to see how well you have progressed.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks everyone. I woke feeling empowered this morning. He's spiralling and I'm fixing myself. I'd never take him back today because he needs to work on him, so why should I care what he's up to, it has nothing to do with me. His life his problem.
If in months/years to come I do have to deal with the question 'can we work on us?' Then I'll deal with it. But today I'd have to tell him I'll wait patiently while he looks after himself and offer support but that we can't get back together until he's worked on himself and I can't do that for him.
This question may never come but today that's ok. I'm busy looking after myself. I will have a relationship again with or without him. This time I'll keep looking after myself.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
Thanks everyone. I woke feeling empowered this morning. He's spiralling and I'm fixing myself. I'd never take him back today because he needs to work on him, so why should I care what he's up to, it has nothing to do with me. His life his problem.
If in months/years to come I do have to deal with the question 'can we work on us?' Then I'll deal with it. But today I'd have to tell him I'll wait patiently while he looks after himself and offer support but that we can't get back together until he's worked on himself and I can't do that for him.
This question may never come but today that's ok. I'm busy looking after myself. I will have a relationship again with or without him. This time I'll keep looking after myself.
Stay in this^^^ pocket and when you find yourself out of it, gently bring yourself back. I had sayings, slogans, reminders, quotes all over my house for a while.
You are worth it.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Well I think he must have read what I wrote because he appears to be regretting his decision a little today. I haven't practiced how to be nice in this situation so felt a little out of my comfort zone.
I guess I just keep doing what I'm doing. I keep acting as if we are friends, I'm supportive but that I'm looking after me.
I'm sure this will just be a phase for him and it will pass.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
CC, Continue as you have been doing. Definitely continue looking after you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well I think he must have read what I wrote because he appears to be regretting his decision a little today. I haven't practiced how to be nice in this situation so felt a little out of my comfort zone.
I guess I just keep doing what I'm doing. I keep acting as if we are friends, I'm supportive but that I'm looking after me.
I'm sure this will just be a phase for him and it will pass.
Don't try to interpret what he's thinking or feeling. That only pulls you in.
What you're doing is working for you, that's a good thing.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
He's just left and was acting very 'normal' it was weird. I've not seen this H for a long time. I didn't like it. Him acting normal but still not wanting me is hard.
Time to work more on me.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
Well after finding out that H spent the last two night with his latest OW, I've been very low. I couldn't get my head around it. She's married with two kids. How did they swing it?? But I was wrong. I'm not sure what he's been up to but it wasn't with her...... Zero expectations and no more snooping. It just makes me sad.
I'm low today but I'm going out with friends and the kids are away for the night. At least I'll get a lie in. No 6am wake up.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
Yeah, it is easier when you just decide not to care what they are doing and with who. It's not going to change anything on your end is it? Your knowing isn't going to make him not do it. They don't care, why should we. Plus, it helps to just remember what an ugly broken human being the OW has to be too to be a willing participant in breaking up someone else's marriage/family. The OW doesn't deserve space in our heads or any of our energy.
If they really do end up with OW for the long haul, then they are truly the ones who lose. We just have to keep being the lighthouse until they can pull their eyes away from shiny objects and see the power of REAL light, or we decide to turn the light out and move on.
Enjoy your chance to sleep in.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
