Quarter Life Crisis?

[flgurl84]

Happy Thursday All. It is chilly here in SWFL- 60 degrees! Berrrrrr!!
I have had such a busy week, I am looking forward to just chilling out tonight, me and my Paw!
Visited with Mom last night. It was OK, but things just will never be the same. Its kind of how they describe the marriage in regards to MLC…that relationship is dead and you must start anew. I have to do that with Mom too. Our old relationship that was so dependent on each other will never be that way again. And that is OK.
I had a nice call from Boo during my visit. I had a rough day, bad headache, I am training a new girl at work, my Boss is dealing with her own stress and she is basically taking it out on everyone and blabbing to anyone who will listen. Her husband is sick and her dog had to get put down, she keeps saying it [censored] to be me. Well, it kinda [censored] to be me too, but I just shut up and take my lumps. Well at least I am now.
I was home alone last night. For about 10 minutes at my mom’s it felt like my old life. I was hanging with my mom, had a nice talk with Boo (and I expected him to be home….tsk tsk tsk no no) But then I came home to an empty house. I was sad. I cried with my Paw, and then we played a little and went to bed.
Boo came home this morning. I got snuggles, he was nice. He came and lay on the bed with me and we talked about things, me and mom, his problems with his sister and his best friend (who she now dates). He is so hurt over that. A whole bunch of drama occurred around his sister and his friend and he wants nothing to do with them, he is hurt. He spoke with his grandmother about it. I’m glad he has an outlet, somewhat. I told him that his family constantly wants him to express himself, tell us what makes you upset, don’t be passive aggressive. The one time he did (he was hurt that his sister didn’t even find the time to stop by our house for his birthday last year) and his mom and grandmother told him he was too sensitive. My mom has always been that way too…..If you were to tell her, “hey mom you said something and it hurt my feelings,” you would be met with, “well that’s not what I meant, and you are stupid or wrong for feeling that way.”
DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO VALIDATE PEOPLE’S FEELINGS???? It seems like it. And he completely agreed. I told him if he ever needed to talk, I am here to listen (trying to open the communication door). I also made a joke, I said “Hey, I hear you married a girl, and she was OK, but then she went crazy and became bitchy and wanted to have a baby for all the wrong reasons. She sounds like she really needed a slap. If you ever want to talk about her, with me, your new friend, you can.” We laughed. I hope he is home tonight. If not, that’s OK. I’m going to make dinner, read, catch up on my correspondence, I haven’t sent out cards to people in awhile. Maybe take Paw for a walk. I have been feeling busy. I haven’t even prayed all week. I have been talking to God, but not gotten on my knees and said my prayers since church Sunday. I need to do that.
I had sent his best friend (one who is dating sister) a text last week. I have known him since I’ve know Boo, so since 2007. He has always been a big part of our family. Boo is basically ignoring him, and doesn’t want to talk to him, but I didn’t want his friend to feel like he wasn’t welcome at the house. So I texted him that I know he was trying to get a hole of Boo, and FWIW, you are welcome at the house, but Boo isn’t really here all the time. But anything I can do to help, I will try.
He sent me a text back thanking me, but also said that he has so much to say to me about certain issues, and he could just not look me in the eye because he would burst into tears, and that I deserve better. I responded with, Don’t worry about me, I take my vows seriously, and I have put it all in to God’s hands. I am a different person now, I am not that crying depressed little girl you saw over the summer. I know God has good things coming my way. You should be worrying about Boo more. He said he admired my commitment.
I admire it too.
Thanks to all that Read my Journals. God bless.