DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[DTM]

Thank you for the comments and also the link to the publication in the previous posts. I'm definitely dealing with a lot of emotions and it's exceptionally tough to keep it straight in my head.
I have an appointment in an hour for IC, not for the marriage, but for mental health - I haven't slept in forever and I just can't think straight with all that is happening.

I keep making mistake after mistake trying to keep my W around in some capacity...but since I have little trust I always end up blowing it just when things are actually looking amicable. I pray that we can come up with a solution that works in the best interest of our kids and both of us - this is just too much for anyone to go through.
If I had one wish it would've been that my wife and I had to separate, that her relationship with her girl would have happened afterwards and not right in front of me for the last 9 months.
We'll get through this and there will be happiness to come.