I Believe it Cause I Feel It

[Whiterose]

Well, I guess, I have it in an email where I was nice and he was not

I was just talking with Linda and realize that I've come to quite a few realizations during this process. About me and about the true man H is. First his family is NUTS I mean certifiable NUTS! and that's been a major strain on us....they're not going anywhere. H has ADHD, depression, anxiety (to some extent), self esteem issues and anger problems (there have been a few instances of holes in walls, a couple of times he's lifted his hand to hit (HAS NOT but went to do it) and I think for him to be a man worthy of me he will need to work on that. I'm not perfect, by any stretch, and have a lot of work to do on myself BUT I'm acknowledging that I need to do the work where he's not. I cannot be with a man that won't at least work on himself. He would have some major work to do on himself that would then open the door to workng on us. I've started. I've acknowledged my faults......he may never. If he doesn't he can't come home. I can't keep doing this. Not for me or my boys.
He has said a few times " I can't be the man you need" and he's right. I see that now. He can't be the right man for any real woman in a lasting relationship. He just does not understand that he's the one that needs to own it and fix it.......makes me sad. So deeply sad. He's a good man. Truly!!! He's just so broken right now and I'm only strong ........

On a complete side note MIRACLE Fr has found someone to pay S14's tutition for the year if H won't. Yay