Ambivalent, That is why forgiveness plays a huge role in the journey. True, in the beginning we are hurt, angry, wanting revenge, etc., but the bottom line is that we have to learn how to forgive them for their mistakes and behavior. We may not forget what they've done, but we can forgive them for they are human and humans make mistakes. We do not want to become bitter, angry people who are just as miserable as they are. We do not want to fall down into the rabbit hole and lower ourselves to their levels while they are on the Mother Ship and acting out like Pod People.
Part of their fear as they travel to acceptance is that we will throw everything in their faces. That we will constantly remind them of their mistakes when we aren't happy w/them. That's why it is important to remember during the reconnection stage that they are still very fragile and learning how to live in their new skins not to point fingers, i.e., to be compassionate and love from afar, not to make demands on them and learn to accept them for who they are today, not who they were a year ago. People change and trust me, we ALL change when the crisis hits. None of us are the same as we were pre-crisis. Some may say yes they are, but deep down, they've changed as well.
It is important during this time to work on ourselves and be the best that we can be. Life is far too short to sit and wait by the phone, computer, etc., for them to wake up. Their journey began a long time ago and the clock didn't start ticking for their take off until a trigger flipped the switch.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
