Can I do the 180 and apply what I learn in the books by myself? Without my H knowing that I am attempting to change our course?
As the others said, absolutely! There's a chapter in DR called "It Takes One To Tango" that specifically addresses this. Read DR as soon as you can, then come back and ask questions about what you've read. It's a fantastic resource, I've read it 4 or 5 times!
