B, I hope your h is turning himself around...but don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Mlcers tend to break up and make up w/their affair partners many times over and if that doesn't work, they'll seek someone else out, especially if they've not finished up replay and depression.
If your h is closer to acceptance, he may very well take the necessary steps to heal himself. Like any addiction, he's going to have to wean himself off those "good feeling" kibbles and it will take a while to do so.
As for the calls and FB...she's trying to find out if he's back w/you. She's so transparent.
Take care of yourself and your boys. It's going to a bumpy ride for a bit, if he's truly done w/her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am not putting any eggs in the basket...I don't even have a basket to put them in. I have politely told everyone that he will be back with OW...and I believe soon...I don't believe for a second they are done, and really don't care. But the signs are all there that they aren't. I'll let you know when he is angry at me again, surely this will be a sign that he is cycling again.
Yep...I beleive she was trying to see if we were together...funny isn't it. And here we are the "married" ones.
I took myself off the ride along time ago...not really looking to get back on it either.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
BRNR, interesting development. It is good that you have no expectations. It should feel good to know that the life with OW was not a bed of roses after all. And it is great that he is reconnecting with the kids.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
BF - Thank you for taking the time to read my update.
Honestly, it doesn't feel like anything to know it didn't work out with OW. I mean, in some ways, yes, I want to laugh, and in others, I'm a little sad. I almost wished it had, at least all the destruction would have been worth it. So those feelings at this time negate each other too much to feel anything.
And now I have some new fears surfacing...because of the chosen few that know the sitch, they have all said the same thing, he will probably want to come home now that he realized he f'd up. And honestly, I don't want that. I don't even want the attempt made as I feel that it would be an even bigger slap in the face than the actual cheating and would cause more destruction to me physically and emotionally. It is my time to explore life on my own. And honestly I don't feel any love for him anymore. I don't know him. I don't hate him, but the longings in the beginning of having him return to us, its all gone. Honestly, that is why I don't post anymore too much.
And yes, he has reconnected with his mother first, and now the kids. This is good. I hope it last for their sakes.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
I have similar thoughts now that my xSO has come out of the woodwork. He must have broke up with the GF. And it came as a surprise to me that I really do not feel any pleasure in it. Because I am quite sure they will make up (as Job said, they tend to do that dance, mine sure did) or there will be another.
I really hope, especially for the kids' sake that H is reconnecting with them again. I completely understand having that desire.
All the best to you. Time and actions will reveal where he is soon enough. Take care
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
BRNR, I feel that I’m getting close to the mental place you are in. I try to imagine the situation when he wants to come back and I honestly don’t even get excited. I feel scarred, because I would not know what to do. I don’t know if I would be able to tolerate his behavior or his actions anymore in same manner I did before. I want better, and I don’t know if he is capable of that.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thank you everybody. Things are getting weirder and weirder.
My ex's car got repo'd today. Because the car is jointly owned he called me because they wouldn't release the car back to him...
I was trying to be civil, called the creditor and then proceeded to call my family attorney to see the best way to proceed in regards. Ex got mad and finally said he wasn't getting it out of repo, because he couldn't afford it now, after trying to make me feel bad for his sitch. To top it off, the creditor advised me that my ex admitted that the car was repo'd from his girlfriends house...
I find all this hilarious for many reasons. 1- Because he tried to guilt trip me to see how improtant his car was for his job and eveything and for me to get my court ordered support. Funny, he didn't think about that when he stopped paying for it over three months ago. 2-With this "second job" he was getting he was so concerned about the lack of time he would get with his kids, but instead of spending his free time yesterday with his kids, he was at his girlfriends house an hour away. 3-And OW-how I've grown fond of her, glad she has to deal with the mess he has become. And honestly, I now KNOW that he is playing the sympathy card with me and everyone while he lies and says he is not with her anymore. Haha. So funny.
Karma and rock bottom are coming fast for him...I don't know what he is going to do, but I know he is royally in deep trouble. Guess it is time for him to make another call to his mama. He has bamboozled her too and she is now enabling his bad behavior, thinking he is getting his life back on track...oh well.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
B, I'm sorry to come here and read what transpired today. However, it is good that the cards are laid out on the table and he was exposed concerning the repo'd car.
MLCers are very good at manipulating things to their advantage that is...until they are caught.
Lady Karma has a way of bringing things to light and unfortunately your xh's trip is slowly hitting the bottom of the rails. His mother needs to step back and allow him to grow up and become accountable for his actions, but we know she'll be there to rescue him once again.
Please take care of yourself and your boys. I had hoped he was starting to see more clarity...but he sure screwed that one up.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I for one, am glad 2013 is behind me. One full calendar year without H and I made it...YAY!!!
Things have progressed very destructively on ex's part over the past couple of months...too much to write anymore.
He is full blown crazy, and now, our kids have reached their limit. No more visits with H until he straightens things out...which I know will never happen. Sad really.
It is definitely easier dealing with someone who lives away, and now with my ex "hiding" from every creditor, court, me (haha), the kids, family, friends, the cops...a weight has been lifted off of me.
My ex still blames me for things...his life [censored] and he is soooo jealous of mine.
Honestly, I have been done for a while, and now because he is MIA, I can't proceed with a divorce either...no address on record to send anything to.
My holiday's were great with the exception of a brief stunt with my ex where he called the cops....trust me, he got burned on that one.
So this New Year is a life of just me and the boys...and right now, it will NOT include the ex what so ever...he has been blocked from communications with my boys as well as visitation. I have also blocked ex from contacting me other than email. At this moment should he need anything, he will have to send me an email or take me to court (and the latter isn't going to happen because he is knee deep in it).
I just wanted to pop in and say "HI" and let everyone know I was alive and doing better than okay! I read threads here and there and I am right there with you all!!!
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
