I feel stronger internally, but I know that it going to be really tough to set the limitations and dig my heals in because H is not going to like it. I hate to do it because I loved last night, I love being a family. BOO.
I can only speak to my experience but I was the WAW having an A. The PA didn't last that long but I was in an EA with him for several years. I didn't make any real choices until my H became the WAS and I knew he meant it. We were over, our family was over, he was 100% finished. That is when I found DB/DR and this site and got serious about looking at my part in the M. Yes, there is always a risk when you set your boundaries that you are ending the m. If this happens, I truly believe you are just speeding up the process. If the S truly wants the M, they will realize it at this time, or soon after. (They may not tell you right away but they will know.) Do not be afraid of setting your boundaries. You don't want what you have with H right now, you want more. You will either make him realize he does, too, or you will force him to make his final choice.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
