on the edge...

[dingo]

Given the affair, her moving out is a boundary for me and I have expressed that to her. I am just not willing to let her put my romantic life and ability to start a family on hold (because I won't even think about dating someone else while I am still married - separated or not) while she goes out and acts single or gets back involved with the OM.

I have been working on myself by improving on the things that I did wrong during the marriage and by trying to implement a lot of the advice I have been given here. I have continued with my normal routine of working out and doing all the same hobbies that I have always done. I have not pushed her to discuss her problems, feelings, etc (up until Monday night when the [censored] hit the fan again) and have tried to give her space to work out her own issues. Since we have supposedly been working on the marriage, I have not been unavailable to her or done the 180s that involve limited contact.

I guess I think we are at a point where a firm decision needs to be made. As some people said a page or so back, it may take the realization of loss for her to snap back to reality; and if that doesn't change things, we are that much closer to where we will ultimately end up anyway.