backtracking a little, i knew exactly what G meant, its all good. i got the joke and i was just taking it to the next step.
i get woman-speak, i can also read people. and G's one of the good ones.
i struggle catching sarcasm though, although i'm great at dishing it out. and it baffles me as to why this is.
my friend had always been socially awkward, I had first met him in college and he proceeded to alienate himself from everyone. But i saw his intentions were good, he just never had friends and had a faulty filter.
for the most part he was a good person, so his actions caught me by surprise. i never expected him to do anything like this.
he never had a girlfriend, but was always so desperate to get one. and his wife was a sweet woman. he got lucky with her.
but his family always had this air of entitlement about them. they werent rich or fancy, but there was always this underlying sense that they saw themselves above the rest of us, the lowly gentiles.
why people cheat, and how they can justify it, i dont know. my x's previous boyfriend was a serial cheater, and she had found out later and was devastated by it, so i was surprised she would do this to me knowing what it feels like.
my x has a victim mentality, my friend has a sense of entitlement mentality.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
In my experience with most people (unfortunately), given the chance, they can rationalize almost any transgression on their part and infidelity is definitely one of them. My ex-wife has NEVER apologized for her 3 affairs. It used to bother me tremendously, fortunately now I could care less and it is so nice to be past that point. My father was horribly unfaithful to my mother and to this day he has never once apologized for it and owned up to it.
Sadly, it seems to be the exception when someone is unfaithful that they admit their mistakes - it always seems to be some characteristic fault of the spouse/significant other that caused them to be unfaithful.
I don't know if my X cheated. I found this site pretty early on in my sit. and stopped snooping fairly early. I'm not sure whats worse having a spouse cheat or not. It hurts the same, she just walked away, as if being alone was better than being with me.
I had no one to be mad at other than myself, I could not blame him... I had to look at me and the first few months I was in a pretty bad spot hatin on myself. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier, if there was another person and I usually come back to the same conclusion, it all [censored] the same amount just in different ways.
Betrayal has many faces...
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
subguy, with cheating comes a lost of trust that carries on to future relationships. I cant trust anyone.
that said, i cant speak from your perspective, so i cant say which is worse.
Agreed about the trust issues, I have them as well... did she cheat, will the new one cheat, will the new one leave and off to the races we go lol. Really it's about me and not the new person (when that happens).
Pretty much suxx all the way around, I really don't think that one is worse than the other, just different areas of suckiness.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
