Very early on, my xSO expressed how guilty he felt. Guilt, as it turned out in my sitch was just another selfish way of looking at things. HE felt bad because he knew he was not acting as he should and what would others think of HIM. Nothing to do with how badly I might feel as a result. Follow? Once he was able to convince himself that he wasn't so bad, that guilt melted away. You see, guilt has everything to do with them and how bad they are feeling about themselves and nothing to do with us. I've never seen guilt get in the way of an MLCer's extra-curricular activities.
REMORSE is different. That is when the apologies are real and there is real follow through and an effort to make things right. Sometimes remorse never comes or it sure takes a long time (I still have not seen it, 14 months out).
You mentioned that when your H is lying, he seems to give you more details of his life. My xSO was (is?) the same. When I finally clued in, I realized that it was his way of compensating for the lying. It made him feel that he was more believable. Goodness, did I fall for some whoppers. But that was called trust.
