Hanging on to the roller coaster

[labug]

Al anon tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

Give it 6 meetings and if the first group doesn't work for you, try another.

I read Women Who Love Too Much, I don't remember specifics but everything I've read has helped me in some way.

[CallaghanClown]

It was very emotional. But I think it will help. I'll keep going because any help is good help. I cried a lot. But I said how I felt. I was honest beyond my comfort. Getting out of my comfort zone will help me grow, teach me how to cope, build ME back up.

I didn't answer H's call today. He then texted to thank me for HIS kids. I didn't reply. Then when he styped the girls tonight he told them he was really struggling and missed them, looked like he!!, he cut them short to go off to a meeting.

Then he sent another text telling me to tell them he loved them and to confirm I'd got the text. I confirmed receipt.

Then another text saying he'd walked out of the meeting, felt really down, missed the kids but that he's sorry for offloading on me. I validated his feelings via text. His response was that he thinks this is the best thing in the long run. Well that's ok for him then.....glad he's decided he'll be happy in the future! I didn't respond to this.

But he's not happy is he. He's not happy, he's just trying to find anything to make himself feel better. He's not considering the consequences. He just knows that life will be better without being with me.

Good job I'm working on me isn't it. It's been an emotional two days with my IC and going to Al Anon today. I predict some fall out tomorrow but I have plans for some pamper time for me. I'm going to buy myself a lovely journal book and start writing. Cathartic and fun. Plus the more I tell my story the more story I find.

[tigerlily78]

CC, I am glad therapy seemed like it was a good experience for you.

Don't believe him when he says life would be better without you, remind yourself that it is just a coping mechanism. He is trying to convince HIMSELF that is true. You don't have to validate that. "I'm sorry you feel that way" is perfectly adequate.

I feel the same way about writing, it is SO therapeutic.

I have one notebook I keep for journaling and another I use to write down tips, strategies, insights, etc. Or I print articles off the internet and tape them in... that way I can flip back through it and easily review some of the stuff I am TRYING to learn, but there is so much info, it seems impossible to absorb it all at once. You might find it useful to try the 2nd notebook too.

Best wishes and postive thoughts your way. Enjoy the pampering.

[labug]

His response was that he thinks this is the best thing in the long run. Well that's ok for him then.....glad he's decided he'll be happy in the future! I didn't respond to this.

But he's not happy is he. He's not happy, he's just trying to find anything to make himself feel better. He's not considering the consequences. He just knows that life will be better without being with me.

Glad you went to the mtg and found it helpful. Keep coming back.

Don't even try to figure out what he's thinking or why. Not yours to do. He may be happy, he may not be happy but the real question is, would you want to be him? A great acronym that I use with myself a lot is, Q-Tip-quit taking it personally.

Just keep working on you.

[BklynMom]

Keep coming back. It works if you work it.

I feel so lucky for my wonderful support system of neighborhood friends I have meet through Alanon.

Even though I live with results I dont like, my life is busy, rich and fulfilling and a lot of that is through alanon. While I was married I didn't know what it meant to have my relationship needs met and now I do.

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks guys.

Today has been a god day. I took pamper-me a little far and got some expensive shoes, but I deserve it so there!

My friends husband has been suffering badly with depression this past 6 months and she's been nursing him through. Sadly he BD'd her last night with 3 affairs including paid services. She's beyond devastated. I'm not sure ill ever fully understand the mind of someone in MLC but I'm thankful I don't want to. I wouldn't be in their hell for love or money. My hell is bad enough.

I hope everyone else is having a good day too.

I want singing today and I'm off to another Al Anon meeting tomorrow plus I'm singing at the turning on of the Christmas lights on Sunday......I better make time to learn the songs!

Best wishes to all.

[CallaghanClown]

Good day not god!

[labug]

You sing, how cool!

[CallaghanClown]

I do. It keeps me sane.....ish. I'm just so preoccupied at the moment that I never seem to practice the song. Where once they would go in instantly, they don't anymore. I struggle with notes I could hit in my sleep before too.

I'll get there though.

[CallaghanClown]

Good day ruined by discovery of another OW. I've calmed down and it didn't sting as bad as the first. She's married, two small kids and a young skank. Good luck to them. I'm sure a fulfilled life is ahead of them!

I've started journaling tonight. Very cathartic. Got a beautiful journal pad and I intend to use it well. Tomorrow is filled with tidying the house and rearranging the furniture. Big project that will keep me occupied all day! Onwards and upwards.