Had an IC session today- my counselor thinks I should just move on and push the divorce through as quickly as possible.
Reasoning is- WAS does not see/acknowledge any of her contribution to demise of the marriage, puts it squarely on me
She is cake-eating, I called her to ask about her mail. She emailed me (some lame excuse about not having service where she is to be able to call me back) that she's out of town right now. She's traveling/visiting people, I'm left to worry about all house/dog upkeep, expenses, care. If I push the D through, she would only come back to me because she wants to, not out of a fear of losing medical/dental benefits and financial backing which is how I'm starting to feel at this point.
MIL will forever be in our bed, even if we reconcile. W's unhealthy attachment (our opinion) to her mother will forever be a major sticking point in any future relationship. W was assaulted in college, and mother was there for her big time. I understand the attachment, but it's not a healthy parent/child relationship today. It's too close, best friend relationship, nothing I told W was sacred. No marital confidentiality.
Anyway, this got me thinking to some extent, he is right. The family will never look at me the same again, MIL will be impossible obstacle to overcome, FIL does not stand up to his wife and is emasculated. I will not be able to earn respect/trust from this family again, the dynamic is forever altered.
I know a lot of this is focusing on her, and her family. I am addressing my issues at counseling as well. I am striving to come out of this a better person. I am much better as a person than I was 2.5 months ago.
What thoughts have you had regarding your situations when you just think of giving up and what prompts you to keep trying in the face of adversity?
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
