The last time I spoke with my X - she had mentioned that she feels shame and guilt over what she did.
One the one hand.. I find it frustrating. She creates distance from me because a response I have to something she does.. triggers the guilt. It's a total d@mned if I do, d@mned if I don't situation.
On the other hand... it breaks my heart that she feels it. I may have the scar but I believe that I have forgiven her and it's never my intent to make her feel guilty for what she did.
On some level - our D was a gift for me to make myself a better person. On some level - I'm glad it happened. So I'm sad she doesn't have the freedom that I feel.
So I do think they think about the betrayal.. but to overcome it is a tremendous climb. Even if the LBS forgives the WAS.. the WAS then has to believe the forgiveness to be true.
Not an easy thing to do.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
