I think the LBS initially doesn't realize the pain the WAS was feeling in the M. The pain they feel (real or not) is excruciating... so much so that they took a huge gamble to throw it all way and make a drastic move of leaving. I'm not saying that LBS is always right and the WAS is wrong, both contribute to the failure of a marriage. Usually the LBS is stunned and clueless that the WAS felt bad enough to leave so they want to blame it on some type of mental illness. And it's that exact complacency of the LBS that probably contributed to the failure of the marriage.
Sorry, Jon, I don't mean to hijack your thread. Just wanted to thank NTXD for this piece of wisdom - it's something I need to keep reminding myself of whenever I feel angry and hurt about how he seemingly has this grand life now while I struggle at home alone. I was definitely complacent and thought when he would complain about things that he was just being dramatic. Maybe to me, it was dramatic (as in I wouldn't have been so upset about things), but to HIM it wasn't. I didn't do a good job of validating or understanding his feelings in our M. Gotta do that now.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
