Thank you for your post. It clarified my thoughts of myself - I have not always been perfect, I have made mistakes, I was not the ideal mate. I get it. So in the last few days - reflection.....lots of it. While it has been a few days since my last post, I am still trying but not succeeding in getting my mind of my situation. I left work early today because I ended up crying for about half hour, for nothing. Not good. Then I came home and called my mom. She was happy to hear from me since it had been about 2 weeks since our last conversation. Then I think I frustrated her because I cried and said something she did not appreciate - that she didn't understand.
Well I got the riot act and it was probably deserved. She told me a story about my baby sister who passed away a few years ago and what my mother went through. My Mom NEVER talked about her feelings and today I got a small insight into her view of pain.
Very grateful and I had to call her back to apologize. The last 2 days were not bad. I had a session with my IC on Saturday and I have another appointment later today which I know I NEED. I pray - but I do wonder if God feels compelled to help me now. I think I know that answer to that - I have not really given my situation over to him for me to find peace.
I guess I am not sure where I should be right now. I know I should start to focus on me, but I am not sure HOW to do that. That is my struggle and so I tend to go between praying, working, crying, to laughing.
I know - get it together......(me telling myself).
But at least the crying is getting far along between episodes, so that is progress right?
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
