"Do you think that is something I can change? I feel like it's just my personality."
Of course you can. If you didn't think you could change, you wouldn't be on here. Everyone can change. They just have to WANT to.
"I'm so fearful because of a few reasons. First being I love him. Second being we have three small children. Third being I've gone back to school and have no income to support myself."
Those aren't reasons to be afraid. You just don't believe in yourself enough to be brave.
"I feel like I'm fighting for my marriage more than I'm enjoying it."
That's YOUR choice. YOU are the one who put his needs before yours. It's not his fault. Start living your own life and you'll get your confidence back.
"I know I can't control him but sometimes sitting here and waiting for his ups and downs gets stressful."
Which begs the question...why are you sitting there waiting for HIM? Don't you have your own life? Are you attached to him by a string or a leash? Do you jump at his every command? If so, then you're a puppet and not a W. Start getting your own life. You don't have to go against the marriage for that, but start doing what you enjoy doing without being afraid of consequences.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
