I am not sure if it is good DBing or not either but I am not going to just sit there and say "Poor H, I feel so horrible for you. Let me bend over backwards to make sure all your dreams come true, while you are having an A, and forget about the rest of us." I have told him on several occasions that I understand if he feels like leaving is the correct decision for him. I have told him that I will give him space and have done just that. I told him that I dont want him to be unhappy. But he remains so selfish.
I totally agree with you, 3. I think you do need to have boundaries, and if your H is so delusional that he finds them unreasonable, that's no reason for you to not have them. I think what you did was perfect. You set a boundary and you moved on. I think you are 100% correct that he is feeling desperate right now because he sees his ridiculous fantasy coming unraveled, and he's not longer in the driver's seat. Hopefully it will occur to him that he really needs to make some choices and live with the consequences, and will start to look a little more at himself. (I know it doesn't seem like it now, given that is still blaming you, but I'm not sure how long he can continue to be this delusional.)
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
